Why would anyone choose sex work!?

Before we begin, I'd like to state that this blog will include my own personal reasons for entering into and staying in the industry. In the future, there will be interviews with other sex workers of all types, ages, ethnicities, etc. on this page and my YouTube. If you're a sex worker, feel free to reach out if you'd like to be an interviewee for any of my posts/topics related to the industry. I can be reached by email at barbiethedancersdiary@gmail.com.

So, why did I choose sex work? If you read my last blog post on why I left OnlyFans this year, you'll already know that my entry into the industry stemmed from a desire & curiosity that I'd always had coupled with the hope to bring in extra income on the side. This was purely and simply the totality of my reasoning back in 2019/2020 when I began playing around with live camming. When I found that camming wasn't what was comfortable for me, I switched gears and created my OnlyFans profile. That was much more aligned with my comfort level at the time, and I found out that with a lot of hard work, I could actually do pretty well! In fact, I did well enough to support two people and a cat living in an apartment in downtown Denver for over 6 months off of my OnlyFans earnings alone. Was it hard? Absolutely. Was it worth it? More than you know.

So, now I suppose you want to know the why behind my OnlyFans profile being worth it, right? At the height of my career on there, the world was about 8 months into the COVID 19 Pandemic, and finding a job was next to impossible. I had managed to acquire a work-from-home job, taking calls for the credit card processing department of a bank. I made it through training at this job and lasted about two weeks on the live phones before I called my boss after sobbing for four hours on an extremely difficult call and quit. I was in no way shape or form cut out for a call center style job, and I realized it very, very quickly. I was stressed, but also thankful. My OnlyFans profile had been growing rather quickly from all the time and effort I'd been pouring into it, and I took a leap of faith - hoping that it would be enough to sustain us for an indefinite amount of time. I figured, if I could put even more time, effort, creativity and thought into my page, the money would continue to roll in and also continue to steadily increase. Thankfully, I ended up being right. 

In addition to already being fairly well established and having a little safety net with my profile going, it was also something I could do 100% from my home and it didn't require a drug test, a boss, a team of coworkers or really much else that you'd find difficult to deal with at a civilian job. Sure, the fans could be an absolute nightmare at times, but hey isn't that what the "block" button is for? The hours were long, and the work was draining at many points, but at that time, there was something so powerful behind reaching a higher and higher percentage each week. OnlyFans gave me my desire to succeed in a way that I'd never experienced before. I was doing this all on my own, and I was doing it well. Watching my profile grow and become more popular was an incredible feeling of accomplishment and a testament to my discipline that did, and still does, make me very proud. 

As always, you know I'm going to keep it real with you all. While I was doing OnlyFans, I have already mentioned that I was doing far too much LSD, and in the end, it ended up really hurting more than helping. However, in the moment, it was the only job I could handle while also maintaining my regular consumption of LSD and various other substances on a weekly basis. My brain was completely out of whack hormonally and chemically and the stresses of a civilian job were so severe to me, that they caused intense emotional outbursts and meltdowns that were so extreme, I simply could not handle preforming at any sort of traditional job back then. OnlyFans provided me a way to work at my own pace, in the comfort of my own home, while erasing most of the common things that made civilian work so upsetting and difficult to do. Now, even if you're not on drugs, this can be a huge allure for the online sex work creation avenue. Many of us, me included, experience high levels of anxiety in various settings including traditional workplaces. Often times, disabled sex workers I've met, whether battling a visible or invisible impairment of any kind often also resonate with this reason because they don't have to leave their house and be committed to showing up at a job on days where their condition is flaring up and too unbearable to work through. 

Now that we've taken a fairly deep dive into my reasons for choosing and pursuing a career on OnlyFans, let's talk about why I chose to strip! What led me there, what kept me there and why I'm staying through the times of economic hardship we're experiencing as a collective. 

The year was 2022. I was still running a fairly successful OnlyFans page and had just gotten my CNA license and begun working at a hospital. I backed off of my OnlyFans profile after a while, because I'd been taking massive amounts of overtime every week at my new civilian job. I won't lie and pretend like this job was always awful, because it truly wasn't at that time. I was pulling around 60 hours of overtime per week working overnights and then I'd be asleep for most of the next day. It wasn't exactly a conducive schedule for a booming OnlyFans profile to be achievable anymore. My page began to drop in percentage value, and I lost a lot of my revenue during this time. Just when things felt like they were really looking up, the leadership team at my hospital decided to revoke everyone's overtime and only allow us to work our normally scheduled 36 hours. 

I was devastated, and extremely distraught. I felt like I was back to the same place I'd been working so hard to escape from. Worries of financial insecurity and debt accrual began to flood into my head again, and I knew I couldn't let things go back to the way they'd once been in late 2020 before my profile really took off. I knew revamping the OnlyFans would be very time consuming and difficult, especially with how flooded the market had gotten. I didn't have the time to spare it would have taken to get that profile back to what I needed it to be, so I began brainstorming other ideas. Many came and went through my head in the following weeks, but none stuck like the idea of stripping. As I've mentioned, I had quite literally always wanted to be a stripper, and I figured there was no time like the present to give it my best shot. With my experience in the industry thus far, I wagered that I had what it took to be a successful stripper, and so I went for it. 

Despite being brutally turned down after my first audition, I didn't lose hope. I stayed persistent and tried again, this time basically begging the manager to give me a chance, just for a single shift at least, because this was my last hope for keeping my head above water financially. He thankfully agreed, and I signed my contract a couple of days later. Just like that, my journey in the clubs had begun. 

While I had truly always wanted to be a stripper, my real reason for stepping into the club was completely borne of financial necessity. If I hadn't been in dire straits, supporting my ex-boyfriend as well as myself and our pets, I'm not sure when, if ever, I'd have become a stripper. What was the allure? I'll tell you! For one, I really needed cash. I needed it fast, I needed it up front, and I needed it all available ASAP. With dancing, I got the cash-in-hand and was able to easily track it, log it and deposit it into a business banking account. I was still doing legitimate business, claiming my taxes and leaving a paper trail should I ever need one for something like a loan or new apartment.

With stripping, I had something that fit well into my already unconventional nightshift schedule at the civilian job. I'd be able to stay consistently working during the night and not worry about having to be up at the crack of dawn to head into another civilian job. Stripping also provided a creative, active and sexual outlet in a lively environment, which really helped boost my mood and take my mind off of the often emotionally taxing and disheartening things I dealt with frequently at the hospital. I made my own schedule, was my own boss, worked as hard as I wanted, and decided who I wanted to interact with and who I walked away from. I was earning sums of money that I'd only dreamed of some nights, and it finally felt like we'd be okay, once again. The dissipating worry of our financial burdens brought by stripping was one of the most incredibly satisfying and reassuring things I have ever experienced, and for that I will be eternally grateful. 

As I neared closer to the three-month mark of my dancing career, it became abundantly clear to me that this was what I needed to be doing full time, not primarily working in the civilian world and stripping part time. Not only was I making more money at the club, but I was also much, much happier when I worked there. Quite noticeably in fact, and my loved ones told me so and encouraged me to go PRN (which means I picked up a minimum of three shifts a month) at the hospital and pursue dancing full time. It was one of the most nerve wracking and intimidating decisions I ever made, but I did it. I applied and successfully became a PRN employee at the hospital and began adding more shifts to my club schedule. Between the two jobs and being able to devote a bit more time to my OnlyFans, things were going remarkably well, and I felt like I was on top of the world. 

In addition to being in an environment which was just generally more conducive to my mental health improving, I had the joy of interacting with a highly diverse group of other dancers who really understood me, valued me and made me feel excited to be myself and come to work each day. Another huge bonus to working as a stripper full time and a CNA PRN was my now extremely flexible schedule. I chose the days and times I worked which allowed me to schedule other important things like doctor and vet visits without having to request time off, miss pay, or get written up; and I could still go and dance after these appointments if I wanted to thanks to the wide range of hours that the club was open. During this time, I was able to work at four different clubs and find which one(s) best suited me. The freedom to try different places, with a fairly low barrier to entry was so refreshing. Instead of lengthy applications and multiple interviews, I was simply auditioning and signing a contract. That was it. No background checks, drug tests, or references needed. This took so much stress off of the club exploration process and made it easy to really feel out my vibe and style as a stripper to determine which club was the best fit. 

I know that many people unfortunately look down upon the industry and those in it. Much of mainstream society still believes that we are the downtrodden, the unlucky, the outcasts and sinners who need to be saved. People often haughtily assume that we hate our lives, ourselves, our jobs and that the industry sucks our souls out and turns us into shells of who we "were". However, I find that to be quite far from the truth. Stripping gave and continues to give me a sense of belonging in this world. It brings me a feeling of autonomy and control over my own life and what I choose to do with it. I love my job, even on the hard days, the slow nights and the frustrating moments we all experience from time to time. I have never felt more alive or more empowered than the times I spend at the strip club dancing, chatting, uplifting and inspiring others. I get to choose what I do, who I interact with, what I wear, how I dance, when I come and go, how hard I work, when I take breaks and who I am when I am stripping. Instead of selling my body to a corporation for pennies on the dollar, I am working for myself in a way that does not make me feel completely dehumanized and exploited for someone else's profit. 

I have fun at my club! I get to look beautiful, alluring, sexy, spunky and uniquely me every time I work. I have the honor of making other people happy by just being myself and allowing them to feel seen, heard, valued and safe in my presence. From my co-dancers to my customers and staff members, I love being able to support, help and validate those around me authentically. I enjoy being able to constantly assess myself and my performance to implement new ideas and techniques to my stripper persona. One of the greatest things about this line of work is you can be whoever you want to be on any given shift. If mysterious vixen vibes aren't working in my favor, I can switch to a silly, bubbly bimbo or a sophisticated siren to do the trick! I can change my hair, my makeup, my outfit and accessories, my dance moves or my personality at any time that I want, how awesome and autonomous does that sound?! 

Although times are tough in many clubs all over the world right now, I am determined to stay true to myself, my goals and dreams and continue dancing the night away to attain the things I want out of this life. No job is necessarily "easy", but this path is the one I choose to walk, regardless of how trying it may be, because it's what ultimately feels right for me.

Keep shining my loves.