Not All Money is Good Money

On June 13th, 2025, as I celebrated my 3 years of stripping, it found me reflecting on the past 3 years of full-time work in the clubs and how much I've grown and changed as a person in the civilian world and as a stripper. There have absolutely been situations at every club I've worked at where I knew I needed to walk away. Sometimes it wasn't always an easy decision to make, or a situation that I handled particularly well - but I can say that there have been many a time where I've walked away from money and felt much more relieved than I would have if I'd stuck around. So, why is that? And furthermore, how do you know when you should walk away?

Truth be told, it's a question that can only be answered by individual experience. What causes you to walk away from a spender or potential spender may not be something the next girl would be bothered by at all. You may find that you have a high tolerance for bullshit and are able to secure the bag in 99% of situations - even the really shitty and irritating ones. The one thing here that I can tell you that is universal to this question is that when you get that feeling of "damn, I don't like this, what this person is doing is not okay with me and doesn't make me feel respected/safe/happy/etc.", you need to do your best to walk away. Preserving your peace and safety is more important than sitting around with someone who is being disrespectful, belittling, abusive or predatory for any amount of money.

It's true, we don't all have the same threshold, and some strippers are able to handle a lot more than others, depending on the situation of course. For example. I went into work on Wednesday, and the club was absolutely dead. Two men were in, and we already had over 10 girls between the floor and locker room. I don't remember the exact details, but I was invited to join in with a group in VIP who were sitting with a guy who is known at my club to be a pretty big spender. I don't mean like 1-2k, I'm talking like 25-30k in dance dollars. However, at this particular time, no money was being given to any of us. We all just kind of... sat there making conversation for a little bit - and at one point, the conversation turned to the quantum mechanics of consciousness and existence. (I am currently reading "The Physics of Consciousness" by Ivan Antic).

This is where things would take their final turn. Keep in mind, I already wasn't a fan of this guy because he was being pretty condescending to all of us and was extremely egotistical. At one point when I asked him to explain something in more detail (not explain it again) he got in my face asking if I was stupid and needed him to break it down further and asked if I was being serious because he'd "already explained it pretty simply", among a slew of very rude comments directed toward my apparent "lack of" intelligence.

When I tell y'all my rage was activated, I mean that shit. If there's one thing I absolutely do not have any patience for, it's somebody insulting my intelligence. Sure, I'm not a rocket scientist or a cardiac anesthesiologist - but I am by no stretch of the imagination an idiot. Here's the thing though, even if I hadn't understood and had asked for clarification instead of deeper explanation, he still had absolutely no fucking reason to address me in such a hateful and demeaning manner. It was a completely uncalled for and unkind way to speak to another human being.

So, as I mentioned, my rage was fully activated at this point and I, of course, got back in his face and told him to watch his mouth and not talk to me like I was a fucking simpleton who didn't understand what he said. I told him I did not appreciate, nor would I tolerate anyone talking down to me and acting as if they're of superior intelligence. To be honest with you all, I think he is a person who is deeply insecure and has a Napolean complex to the max - and because of that, he likes to try and vent his frustrations out on women - probably because his piss poor little man syndrome attitude doesn't get him called back or laid by any women in real life - so he has to come to the strip club and be a dick to the strippers and flex his money to feel like Mr. Big Important Rich Man.

As I got up to leave, another dancer stopped me and said, "don't leave, he spends like 20k in dance dollars, you might still get money if you stay". To which I replied, "not all money is good money, and I won't sit here and be belittled just for some cash - I don't give a fuck how much he's got. I'd rather leave with my dignity than know I took money from someone who just wanted me here to boost his ego by being condescending." and with that, I walked away. 

I'm sure some of you, maybe most of you even, are calling me an idiot for walking away. That's fine, I don't much care who thinks I'm stupid for walking away from a situation that I knew would make me feel bad about myself if I ended up staying - and you shouldn't either. Did I miss out on money? Yeah, maybe. Will there be more money to be made off of people who don't get their kicks on belittling women? Abso-fucking-lutely. 

This is just one of the many stories I have about situations I've walked away from and likely lost some money over. The reason I wanted to share this one in particular is because it involves being verbally berated/insulted rather than physical assault, which seems to be one of the only situations people think it's actually acceptable to walk away from. Here's the truth though, as a stripper, an independent contractor, you can walk away from any situation that isn't serving you or making you feel comfortable. It doesn't have to involve any physical aspect at all aside from being in that person's presence. 

Something else I do want to touch on here is the fact that walking away is a privilege and I am well aware of that. Sometimes, we may all find ourselves in a spot financially where walking away from the money is really not much of an option. As unfortunate as that is, it's true. There have absolutely been times where I've had to deal with an asshole or two (or 10...) because I was really down bad, and turning my back on the money wasn't an option. I don't want it to seem like "just walking away" is a possibility for every single stripper, every single time they encounter an uncomfortable/irritating situation. Something I do want to stress is this, if your life/health is in danger, please reconsider staying in that situation. Even if you have to hustle harder that night or the next day, please try to always place your wellbeing at the top of your priority list - even over the money. All of our lives are worth more than any amount of money. 

Remember, whenever you're participating in sex work of any kind, it's very important to have and consistently reevaluate your boundaries. Checking in with yourself during shifts and interactions is important to make sure you're not forcing yourself to ignore your inner voice and or boundaries just because there's money involved. Customers will come and go, money will come and go, but at the end of the day - we have to go home with ourselves over and over. The reality of life is that we have to take care of ourselves as best as we can; because if we don't, who will? Consistently staying in situations that drain you and make you feel violated or dehumanized will eventually begin to tear down even the strongest people, and in sex work, it will likely hurt the possibility of longevity in the industry. Not everyone is going for longevity, of course, but even if you're not - boundaries are still incredibly important to your physical, mental and emotional health.